An update to converting ‘modern’ scenarios to Delta Green

(Updated 5/20/16)

Way back at the predawn of time (1999) there was a discussion thread (started by Shane Ivey no less) about porting ‘modern’ Call of Cthulhu scenarios into the Delta Green setting.  The gist of that discussion was archived on the Fairfield Project .

There was also a modern scenario guide by Jacob Busby (now posted on Delta-Green.com) that I believe originally appeared on the old Ice Cave site (I couldn’t find it on a the Wayback archive in a quick search but I didn’t try very hard) that was much more comprehensive in scope but with only a few comments per scenario: Delta Green Scenario Guide

With the release of the new stand-alone version of Delta Green, I thought this collection of conversion notes should be updated to include those published since then.  A good number of  new ‘modern’ scenarios have been released since Mambo #5 topped the charts, so I thought I might start a list here, hoping that others with more time might do the heavy lifting of writing some conversion notes.  I’m linking to this post on the DGML and Yog-sothoth.com since I’m hoping the motivation there will be greater on more general RPG sites like RPG.net etc.

I’m omitting all of the scenarios previously covered on the two lists linked to above, although I suspect new adjustments will be required in running some of these modern scenarios even in the intervening 17 years (for example, the Fractal club mailed ‘zine and 5 1/4″ floppies that feature in “The Fractal Gods” from The Stars are Right (1992).)  Some of these have been covered in earlier discussion on the DGML about specific scenarios or collections – I did a very rough link to each book, if I could find one, but can add more narrow commentary should I find it.

I am skipping over anything actually published by Pagan/Arc Dream since those usually already include a mention of Delta Green.  Likewise no “scripts” for Cthulhu Live since I have no idea about how one converts those to table-top play.  I am also omitting magazine scenarios and those scenarios from Chaosium’s monograph line as that would be an even more enormous list; I might do a separate list of those later.

I’ll endeavor to keep this list up to date with links to other folks conversion suggestions, as they are posted or as I find them (I haven’t delved into YSDC’s enormous forum archives yet).

Professionally Published ‘Modern’ Call of Cthulhu scenarios since 2000

Ramsey Campbell’s Goatswood, and Less Pleasant Places (Chaosium, 2001) – All set in the UK, in Campbell’s fictional Severn Valley towns.

  • The Windthorpe Legacy
  • Gothic
  • Silent Scream
  • Cross My Heart, Hope to Die
  • Watcher Out of Time
  • Unpleasant Dreams
  • Blessed Be
  • Of Dreams and Dark Waters
  • Third Time’s the Charm

 

Unseen Masters (Chaosium, 2001) – Scenarios set on the US East Coast – NYC or Rhode Island.

  • The Wild Hunt
  • The Truth Shall Set You Free
  • Coming of Age

 

The Stars are Right, 2nd Ed  (Chaosium, 2004) – Two scenarios were added for this 2nd edition- one set in US southwest, the other in the Rocky Mountains.

 

Secrets of Japan (Chaosium, 2005) – All scenarios set in Japan and tie into the authors idiosyncratic take on the Mythos in Japan.

  • The Hin-no-Maru Slayings
  • Meiro (the Laybrinth)
  • The Yonaguni Monuments

 

Our Ladies of Sorrow (Miskatonic River Press, 2009) – All scenarios set in the U.S.

  • The House of Shadows
  • The Desert of Sighs
  • The River of Tears
  • The Final Cut

 

Cthulhu Britannica (Cubicle 7, 2009) – scenarios are all (spoiler) set in the U.K.

  • Wrong Turn

 

Arkham Now (Chaosium, 2009) – All scenarios set in ‘modern day’ Arkham

  • Lonely Hearts (Taste Great)
  • Lost in a Book
  • I Did What the Virgin Asked

 

Snows of an Early Winter (Super Genius Games, 2009) – Set in New York City

The Arkham Case Files: Deep Morgue (Solace Games, 2012) – Set in Massachusetts

Lost in the Lights (Sixtystone Press, 2013) – Set in Las Vegas; contained notes for running as part of an Delta Green campaign.

Mythos Case Files: Fungi Mine (Solace Games, 2013)

Horror on the Orient Express, 2nd Ed. (Chaosium, 2014) – Set in Istanbul

  • The Simulacrum Unbound

Nameless Horrors (Chaosium, 2015) – Set in the UK?

  • The Moonchild
  • The Space Between

Behind the scenario – Clyde’s footlocker 

There was a question recently on the Delta Green Mailing List regarding a certain item from my scenario “Last Things Last”, appearing in the recently released Delta Green: Need to Know free quick-start rule set.  I thought I might give readers a peak behind the wibbly grey curtain of my mind answer said question below, however…

—SPOILERS FOR “LAST THINGS LAST”—

DONT BE A PRIMATIVE SCREW-HEAD AND RUIN YOUR FUN IF YOU ARE GOING TO WANT TO PLAY THE SCENARIO!

Now that we have dealt with those preliminaries, here was the question:

In “Last Things Last”, the short adventure in Need to Know, there is an assortment of things in Baugman’s footlocker, such as reel-to-reel tapes, the doctoral dissertation ,”sky devils” the bloody suit… are those seeds for future planned adventures?

Shane Ivey has already explained that there is no greater canonical ‘Delta Green’ purpose to the items in Clyde Baughman’s footlocker; the box exists to let Handlers seed this intro scenario with whatever leads to future scenarios they wish to place. The items I included exist solely to offer inspiration for the Handler… but I thought I might share the inspiration for each of the items therein. Maybe knowing how I invented them could spur your own imagination?  I’ve trimmed these a bit so as to minimize the immediate spoilers.

Generally speaking, this catalog of items was directly inspired by the Green Box Generator, an online, open-sourced tool for Keepers (and now ‘Handlers’) – you input the number and types of items you wanted to include, be in mundane or supernatural, documents, weapons, or artifacts.  Anyone could add an item from the mundane to the absurd.  I liked to write 1 item a day, for a while at least, probably writing at least 100 entries.  It was an interesting exercise in item creation and a spur to creativity.  Take a look at a modern incarnation of the Green Box Generator here.

Let’s look at what is in the footlocker…

Reel-to-reel tapes labeled with FBI evidence tags…

1The FBI conducted a great deal of surveillance in the 1960s and 70s, and I thought some bit of ephemera from this era when Baughman was most active in the conspiracy should be included. I imagine this was a leftover from a COINTELPRO (or its Delta Green  equivalent) operation that discovered hints of the Mythos.  I also like the idea of some physical remnant of Delta Green’s less savory operations.

Snake-Handling Protestant groups in Appalachia were not typically subject to FBI scrutiny, but they were marginal enough and plausibly linked to some likely target of government scrutiny – the Ku Klux Klan for example.  Linking that religious movement to Yig, a very American Mythos figure (considering his ties to Oklahoma) seemed obvious.

A cardboard box containing a neatly folded but very bloody man’s suit.

This is purely a warning to players – things will go badly while working for Delta Green.

An annotated copy of the doctoral dissertation “Sky Devils: Archetypical Figures in Native American Mythology,” by Karen Barr…

This was part of an article I had been working on for the Unspeakable Oath magazine (this was back in 2003/4 before it became clear that issue 16/17 would be the last regular issue of the Oath for a long while), providing a sampling of minor Mythos works in the form of academic dissertation – yes, I was in grad school then.  My thought was that these would paper-655112_960_720be obscure works you would only come across if you did a very intensive search in academic literature – unless your dissertation is published, there might only be one copy held by your university.  If I recall correctly, I’d come up with between 6 and 10 of these, with hints of things like Yithian possession, the Innsmouth Raid, and (as in this one) the Mi-Go.  Originally each one was given an author’s name based on an anagram from some of my favorite Call of Cthulhu scenario authors.  I decided to revamp the name a bit to sound more plausible- Karen Barr spun out from some anagram of Keith Herber I think.

Three tear-gas grenades…abc-m7a220and20320riot20control20grenade20

I wanted to include something illegal, but nothing too actually dangerous.  I guess I have a fondness for faulty grenades as I’ve included them in at least two scenarios at this point.  I suspect this comes from my love of the old West End Games RPG Paranoia, in which we often would be given requisition orders for grenades that either were unlabeled or were given inventory information that was classified for Yellow or Green citizens only.

A large iron knife…

SeaxI wanted to include a weapon that investigators would wrongly assume was magical.  In doing a little research I am happy to learn that the Anglo-Saxons actually did make a type of knife called a seax that fits my description.  As for Ogham inscription, it is an obscure enough script that many people haven’t heard of it, fits the rough period for Anglo-Saxon weaponry, and might have been inspired by reading a Terry Pratchett book about the time.

A mundane leather pouch containing hair (black bear), teeth (human infant), and feathers (bluejay and barn swallow).

I wanted something spooky but mundane.  This might have been a tip of the hat to the various items included in the auction list from “The Auction”, which I was thinking about as I worked on this list, though, as mentioned above, the proximate inspiration was the Green Box Generator.  If my memory serves there was a similar mundane item there too.

glass_float_smallOne highly magnetized glass sphere…

I like impossible objects.  A magnetic glass sphere fits that bill.  The Mythos/supernatural need not always be immediately fatal or dangerous, but I wanted it to be something that wouldn’t attract too much attention

ahn12A sizeable file regarding the Ventaja Corporation (aka Venta, meaning “advantage”), an Argentine import/export firm, dating from 1965 to 1968…

***cough*** Karotechia ***COUGH*** **cough***  I wanted to include some connection to some historical DG foe.  In the original version of “Last Things Last” Baughman had called up something far less malevolent than the thing in the version updated for the new Delta Green RPG, and this link to the Karotechia hinted at this connection.

I hope this peek behind the curtain was of interest!

Various, Sundry, and Assorted

I’ve been letting this blog slide more than a bit, between familiar obligations – the holiday season is always a busy one – and hording my free time trying to get a few long-outstanding projects completed.  Nevertheless, I want to at a minimum keep posting here  weekly… and now that it has been a month since my last update, I don’t want to let that gap grow any larger.

Sentinel Hill Press/Arkham Gazette news:

The biggest single piece of news is that the latest issue of the Arkham Gazette has been unleashed upon the world.  Issue #3, all about witches and witchcraft in Lovecraft Country, is available for sale on DriveThruRPG for $12 in PDF and $20 for print on demand + PDF.  It is 120 pages of Lovecraft Country wonderment and I am very proud of it, from cover to the annotated scenario list at the end.  We’ve slowly been building up a stable of authors and artists and I was happy to include articles from such Lovecraftian luminatries as Chris Huth, Chris Jarocha-Ernst, Dan Harms, Tyler Hudak, Christopher Smith Adair and with art from Trevor Henderson, Chris Huth, and Ian Maclean; layout by Chris Huth & handouts prepared by Dean Engelhardt.

In other Sentinel Hill Press news, I’m still reading a few submissions (and sorely owe some people replies about their submissions…) and will likely update our call for submissions before the end of the month.  Readers hoping for a Kingsport issue for #4 might just be in luck.  I also need to finish correcting, revising, and updating the contents of issues #1 and #2 (and to complete an extra article for issue #0) so that they can also go up on DriveThru (and out to our Kickstarter backers.)

I also created the first episode of the Sentinel Hill Press-cast, a podcast for all thing Sentinel Hill Press (and The Arkham Gazette/Lovecraft Country).  In our first episode I talked about SHP’s current and future projects, issue #3 of the Gazette, an interview with author/artist/layout guru Chris Huth, and two segments on New England folklore.

My Other Call of Cthulhu projects:

I have two scenarios in the works, either of which is being very cooperative.  The first is “The Smoking Heart”, my add-on scenario for the Masks of Nyarlathotep Companion Kickstarter.  It’s definitely a bang your head against the wall type piece.  I’ve revamped the plot, torn out the scenario’s guts, revamped it again, and not glower at it menacingly as I try to find a way to introduce Jackson Elias as an NPC organically, but also keep his involvement central to the plot without negating player agency.  I can see now why I dropped it in favor of the pulpy romp that is Don Coatar’s “The God of Mitnal” when I originally did the Companion.

Item two is for an unannounced project at an unnamed publisher, set in a a different era that I usually write for.  It is also coming along more slowly, but it is less painful, as my delay is more in wanting to find more inspirational material in the particular genre of horror I want to emulate rather than trying to outwit the fundamental flaw of justifying investigator involvement in most investigative horror games…  Pity party for me – the writing assignments I’ve taken aren’t easy and require work.  Sob.

Recent podcasts and interviews:

Yea, verily, there are many a podcast that has had a new episode in the past month.  Here are the ones I spotted –

  • The Cthulhu Breakfast Club  – Ep. 9 (A remembrance of ‘Big Bad’ John, New Lovecraftian rpg products, mushroom eggs on toast, and much more).
  • The Good Friends of Jackson Elias – Ep. 65 (Karl Edward Wagner’s “Sticks”), Ep. 66 (The Appeal of Horror as a genre)
  • Ken and Robin Talk About Stuff – Ep. 165 (Necromancy! Powells shopping!), Ep. 166 (Chicago International Film Festival!  Shockingly Dull  Existential Solo Adventure!), Ep. 167 (The Biology of Taste!  James Jesus Angelton!), Ep. 168 (Old Maps! Terrible Architecture!), Ep. 169 (The War of Jenkin’s Ear!  Bloody Mary!)
  • The Miskatonic University Podcast – Ep. 91, an interview with Badger McInnis, creator of Feed the Shoggoth, and an overview of the HP Lovecraft Film Fest (Fall, Portland 2015).  Ep. 92 has been recorded but is delayed due to technical issues.
  • The Sentinel Hill Press-cast – Episode 1, Sentinel Hill Press news, a look at issue #3, an interview with Chris Huth, and two snippets of New England folklore.

Shane Ivey and Adam Scott Glancy interviewed on d-Infinity Live (12/3/2015)

Shane Ivey and Dennis Detwiller interviewed on Microphones of Madness (11/28/2015)

Times of Daylight Saved

Oh geez, this blog has been left to go fallow for quite a while. I’m giving up on trying to recap all the news of the past two(!) months and will just hit the highlights of what I have been up to in these past few months.

Sentinel Hill Press:

  • We had our second annual ‘October-ganza‘ on the Sentinel Hill Press blog, covering topics relating to Call of Cthulhu and/or New England, including New England’s Islands, Boston’s ‘ghoulish’ history, and Native Americans in New England.
  • Issue #3 will be ready any day now – I am awaiting my printer proof copy to confirm that the layout is correct, and once that happens, copies will start going out to our Kickstarter backers, and it will become available for purchase on DriveThruRPG and at Chaosium’s online store just after.  The crew at the Cthulhu Breakfast Club flipped through an earlier proof copy recently on their show if you want to see a real life copy… in video.
  • We continue to look for submissions for future issues of the Arkham Gazette – likely topics include Kingsport, Dunwich, and ‘Law and Crime’ but we are interested in anything Lovecraft Country related.
  • For more about what’s coming next for Sentinel Hill Press, see this blog post.

Delta Green:

  • I was very pleased (and frankly flattered) to have a revised version of my Shotgun Scenario “Last Things Last” used as part of the free Quick-start rule set for the new Delta Green RPG, which completed a very successful Kickstarter campaign ($360k+).  I’ve set up a separate page on the blog here to collect all the real play recordings, actual play reports, and Handler advice (and hopefully some commentary from me on the genesis of the scenario) all in one place.  (I also pitched them a couple scenarios, but I’ve not heard back on those yet.)

Blog news:

  • I have been adding more information and making corrections to my Bibliography of New England Gravestone Carvers.  I think I’ve caught all the articles from Markers (the Association for Gravestone Study’s journal), up through issue #24 (as well as the first volume of the AGS’s newsletter, up through 1990).

Projects in development:

  • I am still (sorry!) revising my scenario “The Smoking Heart” for the Masks of Nyarlathotep Companion kickstarter backers.  Happily it will be released separately from the print copy of the Companion so my delays aren’t holding that project back.  I am sorry for the delays.  I’ve made a few stabs at the thing but keep being dissatisfied with the results and have torn it apart again.  My apologies to the all of the Kickstarter backers.
  • I am working on a scenario for a scenario collection.  Slow going, but my deadline is the end of the year, so I keep plugging away, an inch at a time.
  • I am also revising an old project, about which I cannot say anything else, at least at this time.

Other News:

  • Adam Gauntlett, one of my favorite RPG authors, has launched a Patreon account to fund his creation of more RPG materials.  Let’s see if we can boost that pledge level, shall we?
  • Yog-sothoth.com is running its 10th (!) annual Secret Shoggoth Yuletide gift exchange.  Members should definitely sign up.  I’ve done it every year and it is always a lot of fun.

Hopefully I will have more news soon!

Updatery

Let’s start with some ongoing Kickstarters:

  • Pagan Publishing’s Kickstarter for Horrors of War: A Covenant with Death is in its last hours.  The good news is that there will be a PDF version in addition to the print version.  The bad news is that they are still about $6700 away from the stretch goal that gives all the print run backers a copy of not just A Covenant with Death but also the next (to be titled) book in the Horrors of War series.  Even so, I heartily recommend this collection – with options for a PDF copy as low as $20, you really cannot go wrong.
  • De Horrore Cosmico (from Golden Goblin Press) has just under two weeks to go.  They’re very close to the next stretch goal, but the one I’m more interested in seeing met is the yet-to-be-announced level where they release a PDF only scenario supplement – “a mini-campaign PDF collection taking place on the Empire’s eastern borders” which would include a scenario from the Miskatonic University Podcast’s Keeper Chad.

Let’s cover everything else in a hail of bullet points:

  • Ken and Robin continue to talk about stuff of all kinds – Episode #107 (Their GenCon 2014 extravaganza; a grab bag of audience questions) & Episode #108 (Toronto Film festival recap, a recap of Rob Ford news, Feng Shui 2, and Ken’s assessment of which historical figures are secretly time travelers.  How did he miss Phineas Bogg?!?)
  • A free Delta Green scenario been posted on the DG website – “Sinful Season”, by Mark Brassington.  Not to give too much away, but it struck me a modern take on “The Evil Stars” substituting Judas Priest with Tool and August Derleth with John Tynes.  It’s rough but has some spooky potential.
  • Finally, Protodimensions still needs submissions for their Halloween issue; get yours in by Oct 1.

Drowning in new gaming news

I’m sure that cave is safe.

The Good Friends of Jackson Elias have released their first post-GenCon episode, with Matthew Sanderson recapping his experience in Indianapolis this year while Scott and Paul pepper him with questions.

The Delta Green panel from GenCon has also been released (as Episode 12 of the Unspeakable Oath Podcast.)  Time to feed Hecubus again!

If that’s not enough DG for you, tonight (8/28) there will be a live chat on RPG.net with some of the DG writers.

(If you really want more DG stuff, contribute to Dennis Detwiller’s Patreon.)

Pelgrane has made a public release of Mythos Expeditions (after tantalizing us all with selling print copies at several cons).  I’m sad to see not all of the originally announced content made it in, but I’ll pick it up eventually and give it a closer look.

CoC scenario reviews has posted their take on 2003’s Unseen Masters.

Is Delta Green the new ‘Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius’?

I spotted a story today that, somehow, Delta Green was described as a real organization in A Covert Affair: Julia Child and Paul Child in the OSS. First Saucerwatch is real, now Delta Green? Tlön approaches, apparently.

In other news, we’ve had the first review of the latest episode of the Unspeakable Oath.

On a personal note, I wrapped up the revisions on one scenario today and wrapped up some fiction writing as well. That’s a productive day, gaming-wise.

The Hits Keep Coming

I guess we’re entering the pre-GenCon roller-coaster of news and new releases!

First off, there’s a new episode of the Unspeakable Oath Podcast. Regular host Ross Payton, Shane Ivey, and Adam Scott Glancy, are joined by their guest Ryan Macklin (no relation). Of particular interest is the possibility that there will be a Delta Green preview at GenCon and details about the pending Kickstarter for Horrors of War. My MKULTRA programming of Adam Scott Glancy continues to pay dividends as well. Mwahahahahah!

There’s also a new episode of the Miskatonic University Podcast; this time they’re talking about the Ripley Scrolls, the Voynich Manuscript, and their namesake, Miskatonic University.

In Chaosium news, they appear to have fixed the international rate for shipping on the new website, explained some of the delays for Horror on the Orient Express (printer trouble!), and released their first Call of Cthulhu product for 2014 – Ripples from Carcosa.  Quoting the product description:

RIPPLES FROM CARCOSA expands upon the mythology of “He Who Should Not Be Named” and gathers much of the varied material on Hastur into one place. The first chapter reviews The Great Old One Hastur and his various avatar forms. It examines the Yellow Sign, the play “The King in Yellow”, the Mythos tome of the same name, and the effects these things have on the human mind.

Next within these pages is a trio of adventures pitting investigators against Hastur and his human worshippers. These scenarios can be played as stand-alone adventures or as a linked campaign called “Ripples from Carcosa.” Investigators are provided for each scenario, but keepers should feel free to allow their players to use their own investigators if they so choose.

Cubicle 7 have announced they are now taking pre-orders for the next book in their World War Cthulhu series – Europe Ablaze.

“Europe Ablaze presents six missions demanding such resourcefulness and determination, all set in the European theatre of operations. Some are inspired by SOE missions or historical events, while others take a more imaginative view of the conflict, but all are rooted in the all-too-real horrors that the Second World War brought about. All of them add that special twist that being part of N’s network demands, and the dangers of the Mythos will prove at least as deadly as a bullet from the Gestapo.”

The PDF is available now.

 

Role-Playing Public Radio have begun posting their live play of the ENnie nominated The Sense of the Sleight-of-Hand Man.  Here are episodes 123.

Finally, Feed the Shoggoth‘s Kickstarter has wrapped up, hitting c. $15,000.  Congratulations Badger!

 

How many Hit Dice do Smorgasbords have?

We’ve got a smorgasbord of Lovecraftian RPG stuff to note.  Grab a plate and make your own feast:

  • The ENnie nominations have been announced.  Of particular interest to me are the Best Adventure nominations for the Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition Quick-start rules for best freebie, The Sense of the Sleight-of-Hand Man and Eternal Lies, Ken and Robin Talk about Stuff for Best Podcast, and Achtung! Cthulhu’s Keeper’s Guide to the Secret War for cover art, writing, and product of the year.  Voting starts July 20th.
  • Manservant Hecubus reports that a new episode of the Unspeakable Oath podcast was recorded over the weekend, with special guest Ryan Macklin.  It is expected to be released in a few days.
  • Do you want your own (mini) Sedefkar Simulacrum?  (For only 35,000€ you can have a ‘life-sized’ one.)
  • This is an ad in the new issue of the Unspeakable Oath (you’ve picked up your copy, yes?) suggesting that there will be a Kickstarter for the long awaited Horrors of War this summer.  Fingers crossed?
  • Want another fundraiser?  Dennis Detwiller has launched a Patreon account (? not sure what term to use here).  In short, you can pledge a fixed amount to Dennis every time he creates new content for Delta Green.  His initial goal is $750 but if he gets to $5000 he’ll devote himself to Delta Green full time.
  • Feed the Shoggoth’s Kickstarter is drawing to a close and our last question is how many stretch goals it will hit.
  • In the realm of completed fundraisers, Dave Sokolowksi (one of the many contributors to The Masks of Nyarlathotep Companion) has publicly released He Who Laughs Last(in PDF), a scenario for Cthulhu Dark.

That’s it for now.  Stay frosty.

“It’s Friday, I’m in Love(craft)”

Cue the bullet points!

  • As June segues into July, we finally have started to see some actual Call of Cthulhu releases (at least available to a few of us). I’ve only started digging into my backer PDF copy of Tales of the Crescent City, but I’m really enjoying it so far. I look forward to getting my print copy shortly.  Oscar, apparently having made some dark pact with the forces of the Mythos, is not just gearing up for the Kickstarter for their Invictus scenario collection De Horrore Cosmico, but is already plotting their next book.  I maaaaay have been one of those people he emailed…
  • Curious what the the first poster for NecronomiCon 2015 will look like?  Behold! (as an added bonus, there’s also a timeline for HPL in 1915 at that site.)
  • Help get the next issue of the Arkham Gazette out before 2015 – I’m always looking for submissions.
  • As for Podcasts, only one this time – Ken and Robin talked about… Mummies, George V vs. the Flying Dutchman, and an interview so historically geeky that it put a smile on my face.  Dissolution of the monasteries?  My catnip!
  • The Kickstarter for Feed the Shoggoth is only (as of this moment) $805 from its funding goal.  Don’t make me fund the rest, gang…
  • Oh look, as a backer of the Failed Anatomies Kickstarter, I got an email with a PDF to playtest the new Delta Green rules… Hmm… “This manuscript is confidential and under copyright. Do not distribute it to anyone else…”  Eh, who cares what that says, I’m going to spoil this thing… wait… someone at the door?  Candygram?  I didn’t order a—

    This /might/ be what I saw at the door. Folks, do NOT mess with the Delta Green partnership.